By Erin Finn, MD, MPH
Shame is a heavy emotion. It aches the heart, weighs us down, stifles hope, paralyzes forward motion. Further, shame is silent, thriving in isolation and secrecy. And worst of all, it spirals us into its grip as we sink ever deeper into its hold. We feel beholden to shame, as if we owe the world shame as retribution for our failures and shortcomings.
In athletics, we might feel shame for struggling with disordered eating or an eating disorder. We might feel shame for having a distorted body image. We might feel shame for being unable to rest from training. We might ask ourselves how we can struggle with concepts athletes should have a hardened ability to perfect. The list goes on.
I hope we are able to take up the mantle against shame over disordered behaviors and thoughts around eating, exercise, and body image. These behaviors and thoughts are common. Yet, they are changeable
Indeed, nothing could be further from the truth. Countless studies show the increased prevalence of these thoughts, emotions, and feelings among all athletes, regardless of gender, sport, or other classifications. While the sheer rate and commonality of athletes struggling with body image, eating, and exercise should be grounds for reducing the shame associated with the conditions, perhaps a stronger argument on the disutility of shame would prove more productive.
Secondary to the secrecy and imprisonment of shame, shame prevents a sufferer from healing. When shame is present, it is nearly impossible to acknowledge the full scope of a problem; the ache, self-loathing, and pain are too dire to face in the blinding terror of shame. However, when we refuse to be ashamed, we are able to see our struggles fully and clearly, accept where we are, and take prudent steps forward in a journey toward healing and becoming those we aim to be.
And finally, you do not owe anyone shame. You have no dues to pay. You have no account to settle. Let us free ourselves from any notion that shame will pay a debt we owe.
In sum, I hope we are able to take up the mantle against shame over disordered behaviors and thoughts around eating, exercise, and body image. These behaviors and thoughts are common. Yet, they are changeable, so long as we disarm shame of its power.
Reach out to the Athletic Counseling Team, your athletic trainer, your team dietitian, or your team physician if you struggle with shame over body image, eating, or exercising. No struggle is too large, too small, too insurmountable. You are worthy of healing.
Take a look at U-M swim & dive alumna Kally’s story about dealing with eating and body image.
Local U-M Resources
U-M Comprehensive Eating Disorders Program
National Resources
Stanford Female Athlete Science and Translational Research (FASTR) Program
McCallum Place Eating Disorder Center (Victory Program for Athletes)
About the Author
Erin is a ten-time Big Ten Individual Champion, four time NCAA runner-up, and Big Ten Medal of Honor winner in cross country and track at Michigan. She completed her eligibility in 2019 and went on to University of Michigan Medical School. She is now a first year resident in Neurology at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. She is passionate about neurology, running, and promoting an environment where food and exercise are recognized for the power, energy, joy they can produce rather than the way they make someone look.