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By Emily Brunemann

Imagine this scenario… You are walking around the mall with your friend enjoying the time away from practice. While walking your friend starts to open up about how they feel sad all the time and are having thoughts they haven’t had before. They tell you they feel like it would be better if they just weren’t around anymore, nothing will make them happy, and they don’t feel like anything ever will. You stand there as the friend you are but don’t know what words to say. You want to be supportive, strong, and not scared for your friend.

These types of situations are common. It is also common to not know how to handle them – you may become uncomfortable, nervous, and, quite frankly, scared. These feelings may come up with multiple types of conversations about mental health including suicide. It doesn’t matter if you are in middle school, high school, college, or an adult, being comfortable having discussions with others about mental health is important. There is a very high chance that a friend, teammate or colleague will talk to you about a mental health concern at some point in your life and knowing what to say to help them get the help they may need is very important.

When these conversations come up, the best way to respond is in a supportive way. Remember, they respect you enough to come to you with their struggles and feelings. This response has the potential to let the individual know they are not being judged, it creates a trusting environment for you to then offer help they may need. It’s OK not to have the answers. Simply being there for them and helping them get the professional help they may need can be the best solution.

Here are other ways to talk to a friend/teammate/coworker when they come to you with mental health struggles:

• Communicate open and honestly: use “I” and “You” statements, for example: “I am glad you are talking to me” “You haven’t seemed yourself” “I have been concerned about you” “How can I help you” this helps the individual feel that the conversation is genuine. If you have been worried about them tell them, if you did not realize they were going through a hard time let them know, etc.
• Ask questions: some examples are “how long have you been struggling with this?” “Do you want me to help you find someone to talk to?”  “How can I help?”  Try to learn about your friend and what they are currently going through.   If you don’t understand something they say, ask them more about that.
• Listen to what they are saying: this one can be hard because when conversations come up you may be saying to yourself ‘Oh no, what do I do?’ ‘How do I change the subject?’ or ‘Ahhhhh.’ When this is going on in your mind it is hard to be in the present with the person opening up to you.
• Reassuring the person you care and treating them with compassion and empathy.
• Comparing a mental health struggle to a physical injury or sickness. This helps the individual realize that when something is wrong physically or with health then you would get help you need to get better, and that this situation is no different.
• *MOST IMPORTANTLY* Help them find professional resources. Offering to go with them to an appointment can help ease any worries they may have.  Here is the link to the previous article I put together of mental health resources. 

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By Emily Brunemann

As I have written and spoken about, everyone falls on a spectrum of well-being. I like to think about this spectrum as a ruler, on which you may slide up and down.  Some days we feel like a 10 and some days we feel like a 2.  When we feel like a 2 often or for an extended period of time, seeking professional help is important and valuable.  Emotional, physical, mental, and social factors can all contribute the where on that ruler we fall.  From day-to-day, week-to-week, and year-to-year that spot may vary, which is normal.  Every person fluctuates but learning how to manage those fluctuations so they may be less intense can be very powerful in helping us live the life we want to live.  Understanding yourself and your triggers is a great way to combat those variations.

This time of the year can be full of exams, holidays, training trips, more intensity, or whatever may increase your stress levels; it is important to know and therefore manage those triggers.  Triggers are described as external events or circumstances that may create uncomfortable emotional, mental, and sometimes physical symptoms, such as anxiety, panic, discouragement, despair, negative self-talk, headaches, or uneasiness.  Everyone has different and unique triggers, which may increase these symptoms.  Reacting to our triggers is normal, but if we don’t recognize them and respond to them appropriately, they may actually cause a downward spiral, making us feel worse and worse.

A great tool to use to better understand yourself is to write down on a separate piece of paper anything that may increase the uncomfortable feelings mentioned above, uneasiness, or distress.  This may take time and it can be done whenever you experience or think about your triggers.  This is not to say you have to avoid these triggers – knowing what can affect you is the first step in being able to manage your reactions more effectively.

Some examples of common triggers can be but are not limited to:

• The anniversary dates of losses or trauma
• Frightening news events
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Stress
• Family friction/complications
• The end of a relationship
• Spending too much time alone
• Feeling like you are being judged, criticized, teased, or put down
• Financial concerns
• Physical illness/injury
• Sexual harassment
• Being around someone who has treated you badly
• Certain smells, tastes, or noises which may remind you of a hard time
• Being yelled at

Once you know and understanding your triggers you have the ability to change the way they affect you.  We talk constantly about self-care, which means making sure that you have measures in your daily life that allow you to take a deep breath, relieve some stress, and have fun.  It is not always easy to do these self care practices when we are overly stressed and overwhelmed, however that is the time you need to do them most.  One of my professors said it perfectly: in looking at yourself would you treat others the way you treat yourself?  Would you say the things to others you say to yourself?  Being able to reflect on these questions can better help you understand if you are giving into the triggers which may be pushing you over the edge or if you are managing well.  Making self-care a priority in your life can help you avoid those fluctuations in your ruler.  These do not prevent all triggers from affecting us, however they may help keep those symptoms away longer or the symptoms may be less intense.  Some things that may help when you feel these triggers affecting you may be:

• Make sure I do everything on my daily self-care list
• Call a support person and ask them to listen while I talk through the situation
• Do a half-hour relaxation exercise
• Write in my journal for at least half an hour
• Exercise
• Pray
• Play the piano or work on a fun activity for 1 hour
• Play games

Creating a toolbox of strategies is something everyone should have, as mentioned each person is individual so what may work for one may not for another, which is completely fine.  When our toolbox doesn’t work and we feel so overwhelmed with emotions seeking professional help is very valuable.  Knowledge is power, so know yourself and have strategies in place so you are able to live how you want.

The University of Michigan’s Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) now offers access to mental health services over the phone for urgent matters and crises occurring after hours.

The new service also provides an opportunity for faculty and staff that may be concerned about a student to consult with a mental health counselor after hours.  Access the full article here.

Members of the campus community can call the main CAPS phone number, 734-764-8312, to access this service.

OnWednesday, September 30, 2015, Athletes Connected put on a free webinar, hosted by the Healthy Minds Network, focusing on student-athlete mental health.

The webinar featured researchers, practitioners, and former student-athletes who are working to promote well-being among this population.  Click here for the full recording, including Q&A! You may also be interested in a recent news story about Athletes Connected.

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Close your eyes and picture this scenario:

You are walking down the street and you see someone with a broken leg, on crutches, trying to enter a building. There is a visible struggle as they try to balance on one leg while opening an impossibly heavy door. They may not ask for help, but you can see the struggle. What would you do? Would you hold the door open and help them walk through?

When it comes to mental illness, it can be difficult to help someone struggling when there is no visible injury. Many times, those suffering hide their mental illness, anxieties or struggles, not because they aren’t yearning for help, but because it is an isolating struggle. When there is no visible wound, how do we identify those who are struggling in order to open up the door to recovery?

We must become proactive instead of reactive in encouraging help seeking.

PROACTIVE VS. REACTIVE:
Tips on how to proactively identify those who may be struggling.

Tip 1: Trust Your Gut, Reach Out and Express Concern
If you see changes in a friend, child or athlete, reach out. Changes in mood can be attributed to many factors. Regardless of the cause, it never hurts to start the conversation. It is always important to remember that a person does not have to be struggling with a diagnosed illness to reach out or get help from friends, family or coaches. Reaching out to express concern allows you to proactively start the dialogue to promote mental health.

Tip 2: Take Notice of Small but Habitual Changes
We are human; we will all have bad days and occasionally struggle. When those bad days become a stretch of bad days or you see continual changes in a friend, athletes or child’s mood, reach out. See below for a few signs to look for:

• Feeling hopeless
• Change is sleeping behavior (lack of sleep or over sleeping)
• Isolation
• Loss of interest in activities that were pleasurable in the past
• Impulsive, risky or hedonistic behavior
• Irritability or irregular irritation
• Loss of appetite or overeating
• Difficulty remembering details, making decisions or concentrating

Tip 3: Have An Open Door Policy and “Judgment Free Zone”
Fostering an environment where conversations are judgment free and honest is an important component to helping those who are struggling. It is often hard to remove the stigma surrounding asking for help because those struggling often believe it is a weakness to ask for help. It is not a weakness to receive help and by letting those around you know the door is always open, you begin to establish a safe space to talk through struggles.

When you first reach out to someone you believe is struggling, there may not always be a positive response. They may want to continue to open that heavy door on their own. No matter what you are met with on the other end, knowing you support them, in a judgment free way, is the best way to create a safe environment. Persistence is key, so keep asking and keep supporting. Knowing you are there as a support system will make it easier to reach out when they are ready.

It may take time for those struggling to reach out. Keep opening the door for others, even when they don’t ask for help or seem as if they don’t need it. Knowing that someone is there and will continue to be there is the best way to foster honest conversations around the mental health struggles.

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