Author Archive: Stephanie Salazar

The Athlete Identity in Retirement

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This article is in support of Athletes Connected’s new Life After Sports initiative to support student-athletes when their athletic careers conclude. The University of Michigan is committed to supporting former student-athletes by providing resources to finding a provider and understanding insurance.

By Emily Klueh, LLMSW, Athletes Connected Program Coordinator and U-M Athletic Counselor

Imagine this scenario:

You’re a senior and today is the last day of NCAA competition. You’re excited, but apprehensive, and the rush of emotions has hit you like a ton of bricks. You feel a twinge in your stomach knowing your career is coming to an end and this is the last time you will be competing with your team. Thoughts flood your mind: what am I going to do with all my time now? All I know is swimming. Who will I be without it? I am not ready to leave the team.

And just like that it is over.

Personally, I was fortunate to compete in high school, college, and professionally for six years after graduation. I had a different path than many because I was able to travel the world and represent my country longer than expected. I was a swimmer, it was my life, my form of income, who I was at my core.

Competing for so long afforded me the opportunity to put effort into finding another passion and knowing what I wanted to do after I retired. I was able to grow in and through my sport which ultimately set me up to be successful when I knew it was time to retire. I thought retirement from sport was going to be easy. I was ready to step away; a choice many athletes do not have the opportunity to take. However, my retirement did not come without its struggles, and that surprised me.

It wasn’t challenging in the sense that I wanted to come back to sport or felt lost; instead, it was challenging to understand who I was away from my sport and how to use what sport taught me in the real world.

One of the struggles that I felt hit me hardest was learning new boundaries and goals. Understanding the difference between what those meant while competing and what they meant in the workforce and life away from my sport was hard.

Much of my identity was often wrapped up in my performance and who I was as a swimmer. I knew what I was good at and it was ingrained in who I felt I was. Outside of sport, that identity shift was hard.

Identities affect the way we carry ourselves through day-to-day interactions. Sport is something you do; it does not define who you are. The traits and qualities you possess make up who you are as an individual. Visit the new Life After Sport section to learn more.

I was constantly feeling as though I needed to push, do more, and show others what I was capable of, because that is what I did as a competitive athlete. Nevertheless, in the work force and life outside of sport, there are no discernible achievements like there are in sport, such as winning a Big Ten title. Winning a title or achieving a time goal is concrete — you do it or you don’t — then you reset and work again.

I found that I struggled to set boundaries and take care of myself, because nothing ever felt good enough. I was constantly looking for approval, something to measure success, and looking for it to feel similar to what I knew in sport. It isn’t the same. I had to learn that.

I’ve stumbled and took some time to find my way, but I’ve managed to keep moving. I love my job and I love what I do, but I still feel as though I am finding myself outside of my sport. I am still working to discover a healthy balance and what brings me happiness as it is different now than it was when I was an athlete. My experience with sport was an amazing ride. It was hard and brutally honest at times, but there isn’t anything I would change from my time as an athlete as every experience set me up to be successful in my life now after sport.

No matter when or why you are retiring, there may be some transition time and you will have the opportunity (and difficulty) to figure out what areas of your identity will come to the forefront.

Identities affect the way we carry ourselves through day-to-day interactions. Sport is something you do; it does not define who you are. The traits and qualities you possess make up who you are as an individual.

Athletic identity is tricky because it affects each person in a psychological, social, and behavioral way. A few common examples include: psychologically learning to handle the ups and downs of success and pushing past the point of pain; socially learning how to be a positive teammate; and behaviorally making choices in relation to your lifestyle like eating and sleeping habits to enhance your performance. These three things all work together and inform the decision making process of an athlete.

When you retire from your sport, these will still play a part in your identity, but in a different way. As an athlete your thoughts and decisions are often driven by the fact that you are a student-athlete. When this comes to an end how do you adapt to this change?

There are two ways athletes transition from their sport. The first is through free choice, and the other is through uncontrolled circumstances.

Those who are forced to retire due to injury or other reasons may sometimes find the transition more difficult than those who choose to leave the sport on their own terms. Nonetheless, whether the retirement was planned or unplanned, the emotions tied with identity loss can creep in.

Research suggests that individuals who have a high athletic identity tend to struggle more with adaptation away from their sport once retirement is announced. For some, especially those whose retirement was unplanned and out of their control, it is common to experience the emotions of grief or loss. It can feel like losing someone or something they love. These athletes can experience the five stages of grief and loss, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Many athletes go through the stages differently, and some may not even go through all of them.

Experiences vary from person to person, but it is helpful to recognize these emotions and understand what is happening in order to positively cope with the transition. Recognizing that these emotions are okay and normal to experience can make them more manageable. Whether you are planning your retirement or not, it is important to have a support system and coping strategies in place. A support system can mean different things to each person.

    Here are some ways to identify and build a support system:

  • Having strong connection with friends and family to talk about future plans and goals
  • Meeting people outside sport
  • Getting involved with other groups and clubs on campus or at your school
  • Scheduling appointments with a counselor to have a safe place to talk through the emotions felt
    Coping strategies can include:

  • Remembering that your sport does not define who you are as a person
  • Allowing yourself to go through the emotions you are feeling. Suppressing your thoughts can make them feel stronger. Give yourself the time to experience the emotions. Remember they will shift with time.
  • Setting new goals, this can be either in school or with a new group
  • Understanding and working with someone to better identify that you are more than an athlete

As always, reach out when you are struggling. There are support systems in place to provide resources and strategies to help you cope with the transition, whether you are ready to retire or not.

At some point every athlete, no matter if you are an Olympian, playing your last college game, or ending sport after high school, has to learn how to transition out of their athletic identity. You are not alone.

About the Author:
Emily Klueh is a clinical athletic counselor for the U-M athletic department’s Performance Psychology Center. She provides direct clinical care to student-athletes, consults with coaches, conducts team presentations, creates educational programming and works interactively with support staff.

A native of Kentucky, Klueh was an elite swimmer, winning an NCAA championship, being named Big Ten Swimmer of the Year and competing professionally until 2016, while also representing USA Swimming. She earned her bachelor’s and master’s degrees from the University of Michigan. For Athletes Connected, Emily is a program coordinator.

Seattle Times: What an Olympic medalist, homeless in Seattle, wants you to know

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American Olympic cyclist Rebecca Twigg is profiled by the Seattle Times. After her career ended, she developed anxiety, which prevented her from keeping a job and considered suicide.

Photo by Bettina Hansen/Seattle Times

By Scott Greenstone

When Rebecca Twigg was 7, she rode a bike for the first time. There were no training wheels, but Twigg took off like she’d done it in a previous life. She fell only when she realized she didn’t know how to stop, and steered into a wall.

“I took to the road like I was born to do it,” Twigg says today. “Except for the little part about stopping. I’m not a very good planner.”

The Seattle-raised athlete went on to become one of the most famous American cyclists in the ’80s and ’90s, winning six world championships and medaling in two Olympics. She appeared on cycling magazine covers, in sponsor ads and in features in Sports Illustrated and Vanity Fair.

ut then, in 1996, she left the team abruptly during the Olympics and the next year, retired from cycling. She re-entered the workforce. It didn’t work out.

“Once you’ve done something that feels like you’re born to do it, it’s hard to find anything that’s that good of a fit,” Twigg says today. “Anything else that feels that way.”

Jimi Lott/Seattle Times archives

Rebecca Twigg has now been without a home for almost five years in Seattle, living first with friends and family, then in her car, then in homeless shelters and then, for a night, under garbage bags on the street downtown. She hasn’t had a bike for years, and no one recognizes her anymore, she says.

Twigg, 56, agreed to share her story to convince the public that not all homeless people are addicted to drugs or alcohol; that there are many like her, who have struggled with employment and are “confused,” as she said she is, about what to do next with their lives. She did not want to discuss mental health but feels it should be treated more seriously in Washington.

“Some of the hard days are really painful when you’re training for racing,” Twigg said, “but being homeless, when you have little hope or knowledge of where the finish line is going to be, is just as hard.”

Read the rest of the story on SeattleTimes.com.

Finding a New Normal

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This article is in support of Athletes Connected’s new Life After Sports initiative to support student-athletes when their athletic careers conclude. The University of Michigan is committed to supporting former student-athletes by providing resources to finding a provider and understanding insurance.

By Rachel Amity, MSW Candidate, U-M Athletic Counseling Team

Retiring and transitioning from something that took up so much time, sweat, and emotional, mental, and physical dedication often leads to a sense of loss. You have probably gone through various phases of relief, sadness, confusion, and anxiety. I know I did.

On the one hand, I started to get used to having all this free time. I could finally go to the movies on a Tuesday or go over to a friend’s place on a moment’s notice instead of having to text back saying “I have to be up early tomorrow for practice, sorry.”

On the other hand, the novelty of that freedom eventually started to wear off, and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do long term. Even though I knew retirement was coming eventually, it still took time to figure out what else I was passionate about.

For me, it’s been years since my last game. For the most part, I’ve settled into new routines and have found new hobbies, support systems, and I am on my way to a career that I am super excited about. This is my new normal. But it took time to get here, and there are still days that I miss the competition, teamwork, and the joy after a win. While I can’t say I miss losing, I sometimes miss the motivation and drive I had after a loss.

Every athlete reaches a point when their competitive playing chapter closes. Whether this is by choice, from injury, from loss of love for the sport, or from age, many struggle to find their new path. If you’re in this situation, know that it’s normal to have a lot of questions and feel a mix of excitement, hesitation, fear, and sadness. One of the biggest things to recognize is that you are not alone. Similar to college, there are resources available to help you navigate this life change.

Whether you’re recently retired or you’re years post-sport like me, you’re probably still working to create and settle into your new sense of who you are. The nice thing about creating your version of a new normal is that it is flexible. You have the ability to try new things and experiment with your time and your interests in a way you probably haven’t in a long time. While not having the built-in supports of your team and the structure of a packed schedule can feel completely disorienting, you now have time to commit to the things you never had time to do as an athlete.

Based on my own experiences as well as stories other former athletes have shared with me, I put together a few tips that may help you adjust to your new life:

  • Set goals!
    Sports gave you great goal-setting skills, so take advantage of that. Maybe it’s setting a goal to apply to a certain number of jobs by the end of the week or getting back into the gym one more day a week. For me, I lost a sense of accountability when I stopped playing, and setting goals has helped me find feelings of purpose and direction, especially on those days where it didn’t feel like I had much of either.
  • Find mentors
    While you were competing, you had coaches, teammates, trainers, and many other people who were helping to guide you through your athletic career. Now that you’re looking to start a new career and discover new passions, find the people who can encourage, support, and push you the same way your favorite coach, teammate, or strength and conditioning coach did. This could be a professor, a family member, a friend, or a coworker. You’ll remember the feeling of excitement and drive when you find someone who can help bring that out.
  • Find (new) trusting friendships
    For so long, athletes have a built-in support network. Even if you didn’t love all of your teammates, they were still by your side as you pushed through your workouts and practices. You probably made some lifelong friendships through your teams, which is just one more thing to be thankful about. However, I found that finding those friendships in the other areas of my life helped me transition out of the sports world. I still have friends that I played with, but I also have friends that I met in classes, during graduate school, and at work who weren’t athletes. Having connections with people through activities and from places where you weren’t always an athlete can help round out your identity and your social network.
  • Journal
    Sometimes you just have to have a place to reflect on all of the things you loved and hated, the things you miss, and the things you’re grateful for. Journaling is a great outlet for those emotions. It can also be great for keeping track of goals you’re setting, or as a new hobby to experiment with.

About the Author
Rachel Amity is originally from Corvallis, Oregon, where she grew up playing soccer, volleyball, and lacrosse. She graduated from Lewis & Clark College with a Bachelor’s in Psychology, where she also worked as a student athletic trainer. Rachel is currently working to complete her Master’s of Social Work at the University of Michigan, where she works as an MSW intern with Athletes Connected and the Athletic Counseling Team.

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US Lacrosse: Renaissance Woman: Dropping Beats, Erasing Stigmas with Michigan’s Shane

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Michigan senior lacrosse goalie Mira Shane was profiled by US Lacrosse Magazine for her off-the-field exploits, which include being a mental health advocate.

Photo by Benji Bear

By Jeremy Fallis

Beat boxer. Mental health advocate. Social justice champion.

These are some of the titles that Mira Shane holds as the bright, uplifting voice on the Michigan women’s lacrosse team.

Shane, a goalie, came to Michigan because she could be more than a lacrosse player.

Fueled by her musical passion, she stars in an a cappella group, 58 Greene, as a vocal percussionist.

Burdened by life’s pressures and expectations — traveling far from her Princeton, N.J., home and feeling isolated as a biracial athlete in a predominantly white sport — she shared her struggles with mental health in a widely released video for the school’s Athletes Connected program.

Shane is the president of Athletes for Community Transformation, which fosters mentorship opportunities for Michigan’s student-athletes. She also took part in the school’s “Expect Respect” public service announcement campaign promoting civil discourse and a diverse campus culture.

“I love to give to others, and I want to show others that it’s good to be authentic,” said Shane, who made eight starts for the Wolverines in 2018 and was named this week’s Brine/US Lacrosse Player of the Week. “Help others, but also raise the voice of others that aren’t usually being heard — whether that’s through race and breaking barriers or whether that’s through sports.”

Read the rest of the story on US Lacrosse Magazine, including Shane speaking about a cappella, mental health and important causes.

Swimming Alum G Ryan Opens up About Depression and Gender Dysphoria in New Video

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ANN ARBOR, Mich. – The University of Michigan’s Athletes Connected program released a new video on Tuesday about U-M swimming alum G Ryan, who describes their mental health journey through depression, anxiety and gender dysphoria.

This video focuses on five-time Big Ten champion and four-time All-American swimmer G Ryan, who identifies as a non-binary person and previously swam on the U-M women’s team.

Before arriving in Ann Arbor, Ryan already struggled with depression and anxiety. While competing for Michigan, Ryan began to battle negative body image in a unique way unrelated to nutrition.

“It was something else,” Ryan said. “Dysphoria related to my gender identity, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.”

“There wasn’t one clear, direct path to feeling like my best self. It took time, a lot of trial and error, and a willingness to ask for help, even when I wasn’t exactly sure what I needed.”

After attending Athletes Connected wellness groups, consulting with a counselor in the athletic department and a psychiatrist at University Health Service, Ryan eventually saw another counselor outside of U-M. Ryan made balancing the demands of student-athlete life and personal life a priority to craft a necessary support system.

Ryan found their place at U-M’s Spectrum Center, which aids Michigan students in the LGBTA community and “envisions an inclusive campus community free of discrimination in all forms where social justice inspires community engagement and equity.”

“There wasn’t one clear, direct path to feeling like my best self,” Ryan says in the film. “It took time, a lot of trial and error, and a willingness to ask for help, even when I wasn’t exactly sure what I needed.”

Ryan graduated this spring with a bachelor’s in English and in Women’s Studies. They currently serve as an education and training program specialist at the Spectrum Center.

Depression, Anxiety and Gender Dysphoria; G RYAN, Swimming

About Athletes Connected
Formed in 2014 on an NCAA pilot grant by a collaboration of University of Michigan Depression Center, Athletics and School of Public Health, Athletes Connected actively works to provide student-athletes with the tools and resources possible to support student-athletes along the continuum of wellbeing. Athletes Connected does this by promoting awareness of mental health issues, reducing the stigma of help-seeking and promoting positive coping skills among student-athletes. To learn more about the program, view the entire catalog of videos, read original stories and access helpful resources for student-athletes and non-athletes alike.